Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
