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Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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