member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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