Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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