Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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