i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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