You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
