1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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