remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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