So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
