Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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