): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
