Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
