@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
