i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
