You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
