why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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