therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
