i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
