I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish you could order shots online.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
