"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
