careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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