Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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