I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
