Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Are my feet made of real feet?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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