I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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