Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
