we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
