this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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