listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
