i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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