if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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