u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
