I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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