do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
