Christians are straight up FREAKS
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
