it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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