Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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