is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
