i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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