Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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