well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
