I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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