sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
