Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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