i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
