filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
