The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Four minutes until I can fart!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
