I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
