I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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