how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
