So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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