using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You've changed since you got that strap on
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
