i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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