I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
