You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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