So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize