i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
