what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The beer is more important than you right now.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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