Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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