Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
