It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
