We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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