I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
