Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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