im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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