Where is the hickey?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
